TRAVMA IN DRUŽINA TER ZAKON POGOSTOST TRAVM V DRUŽINI

(1)

TRAVMA IN DRUŽINA TER ZAKON POGOSTOST TRAVM V DRUŽINI

Moreover, children who witness violence in the home are at increased risk for being abused themselves. For example, Straus, Gelles, and Steinmetz (1980) report that woman battering

and child abuse co-occur in 40% to 60% of families and Layzer, Goodson, and DeLange (1986) found that almost 70% of children entering battered women’s shelters had also been maltreated. Children who are both witnesses to and victims of violence in the home demonstrate more severe

maladjustment than children who are not also abused (Hughes, Parkinson, & Vargo, 1989; Jouriles &

Norwood, 1995; McCloskey, Figueredo, & Koss, 1995; O’Keefe, 1995).

Prevalence of children’s exposure to intimate partner violence has been estimated at 10% to 20% each year. Many children exposed to domestic violence appear to manifest negative effects.

SINCE THE 1980S, RESEARCH on children exposed to violence between parents has increased

dramatically, documenting the connection between such exposure and awide range of behavioral, emotional, and cognitive difficulties.

CHILDREN EXPOSED TO INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE Research Findings and Implications for Intervention

BONNIE E. CARLSON

State University of New York at Albany

TRAUMA, VIOLENCE, & ABUSE, Vol. 1, No. 4, October 2000 321-342

POGOSTOST TRAVM V DRUŽINI – NASILJE

The Child Custody and Right of Access Act (7), prohibiting corporal punishment and other forms of physical and psychological violence towards children, came into force in Finland in 1984. However, the law has not worked as

efficiently as was expected. Sariola and Uutela (8) concluded in their study of family violence against children in

Finland that 19% of the children (15 years of age) under study had experienced mild violence within their family of

origin during the last year (e.g. pulling by the hair or slapping), whereas 5% had experienced severe violence

(e.g. hitting, kicking or being threatened with a gun).

Heiskanen and Piispa (9) found that 22% of Finnish women are victims of spousal abuse. Perttu’s (10) report on family violence in Finland stated that the violence was mostly physical and psychological in nature.

According to data from

the NationalViolence AgainstWomen Survey, close to 1 in 4women and 1 in 13 men report being “raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date at some time in their lifetime”

(Tjaden&Thoennes, 2000, p. iii).

Trends in Understanding and Addressing Domestic Violence, DANIEL P. MEARS, CHRISTY A. VISHER, JOURNAL OF INTERPERSONAL VIOLENCE, Vol. 20 No. 2, February 2005 204-211)

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s (1993-1999) Supplementary Homicide Reports,

(2)

about 10% of all 12- to-15-year-old girls, and 22% of all 16- to-19-year old girls, murdered between 1993 and 1999 were killed by an intimate partner. Examining only perpetration, Schwartz and

colleagues (Schwartz, O’Leary, & Kendziora, 1997) found a great deal of difference in dating violence in their suburban adolescent sample. On a combined measure of sexual and physical violence, 44% of girls reported perpetrating at least one such act compared to only 16% of boys.

Boys were more likely to report committing serious acts of violence, such as threats with a gun

or knife, beating up a partner whereas girls more often reported pushing and shoving;

slapping,

kicking, and biting; and hitting with fists or an object. On a single item about sexual violence, boys and girls were similar in their perpetration reports, 3% and 2% respectively.

DATING VIOLENCE AMONG ADOLESCENTS Prevalence, Gender Distribution, and Prevention Program Effectiveness

LAURA J. HICKMAN, LISA H. JAYCOX, RAND Corporation. JESSICA ARONOFF, Break the Cycle

TRAUMA, VIOLENCE, & ABUSE, Vol. 5, No. 2, April 2004 123-142

A study conducted by Boney- McCoy and Finkelhor (1995), in which 2,000 children between the ages 10 and 16 were asked about experiences of violent victimization, found that children were most likely to be physically assaulted by someone within 3 years of their own age. In addition, those children

who experienced a severe assault by a peer showed levels of post-traumatic stress disorder

(PTSD) similar to that of sexually assaulted children.

This retrospective study found that approximately half of the college freshmen questioned had been victims of bullying at some point in their childhood. Unlike European studies (Olweus, 1994) but consistent with previous research conducted in Canada (Charach, Pepler, & Ziegler, 1995) and the United States (Duncan, in press;

Hoover et al., 1992), males and females were equally likely to report having been bullied.

Maltreatment by Parents and Peers: The Relationship Between Child Abuse,

Bully Victimization, and Psychological Distress, Renae D. Duncan, Murray State University

CHILD MALTREATMENT, Vol. 4, No. 1, February 1999 45-55

By definition, the clients that come to them for help have been abused by their partners. It is

estimated that90%of children present in violent homes have witnessed the violence perpetrated

against their mother (report of the Queensland Domestic Violence Task Force, 1988).

WHY THE LABEL CHILD ABUSE PUTS CHILDREN WHO WITNESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AT RISK DIANE TATUM

Eastside Domestic Violence Program

TRAUMA, VIOLENCE, & ABUSE, Vol. 1, No. 3, July 2000 288-290

According to the National Violence Against Women Survey (Tjaden & Thoennes, 2000), almost 25% of American woman are raped or physically assaulted by a

(3)

current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date at some time in their lifetime.

According to the survey, approximately 1. 5 million American women are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner each year.

Moreover, rates of PTSD among battered women are much higher than in the

population at large (Kubany, Haynes, et al. , 2000; Kubany, Leisen, et al. , 2000; see Kubany & Watson, 2002). For example, prevalence of PTSD among women in shelters for battered women has ranged from 45% to 84% (see Kubany et al. , 1995).

Cognitive Trauma Therapy for Battered Women With PTSD (CTT-BW), By: Edward S. Kubany, Elizabeth E. Hill, Julie A. Owens, Cindy Iannce-Spencer, Mari A. McCaig, Ken J. Tremayne, Paulette L. Williams, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 0022-006X, February 1, 2004, Vol. 72, Issue 1

POGOSTOST TRAVM V DRUŽINI – POSILSTVO, SPOLNA ZLORABA

Marital rape is one of the most prevalent forms of rape. Several studies estimate the prevalence of rape within marriage to be between 6% and 14%,

depending on the definition of rape used and the type of participants included in the study (Allison & Wrightsman, 1993; Finkelhor & Yllö, 1985; Russell, 1990). Despite its prevalence, historically, marital rape has often been viewed as different from other types of rape. In fact, for many years, it was deemed a legal impossibility for a man to rape his wife because consent to sexual relations was assumed because of the marital contract. Because people’s beliefs

about different types of rape affect public policy, jury decisions, and victim behavior, it is important to investigate how society perceives rape within the

context of various intimate relationships, including marriage.

Hanson and Slater (1989), in their meta-analysis of 18 studies, found that although an average of 28% of sexual offenders (range across individual studies of 0% to 67%) reported being sexually victimized as children,

similar rates were found for nonsexual offenders, suggesting that childhood sexual victimization may be related to general offending, rather than specifically sexual offending. Regardless of the inconsistencies across studies, the number of sexual offenders reporting sexual victimization in childhood suggests that the abuseto- abuser hypothesis cannot be ignored.

An Exploration of Childhood Victimization and Family-of-Origin Characteristics of Sexual Offenders Against Children Tania S. Stirpe

Lana E. Stermac

International Journal of Offender Therapy and Comparative Criminology, 47(5), 2003 542-555 DOI: 10.1177/0306624X03253316

Female rates of depression appear to double the male rates by the time the youths are age 15 years (Cyranowski, Frank, Young, & Shear, 2000). The prevalence rates of CSA and depression of

female adolescents in the NSA were higher than for male adolescents, where 13% of female participants reported being victims of sexual assault in comparison to 3.4% of male participants; and female adolescents were about twice as likely to have major depression and more than twice as likely to have comorbid PTSD and major

depressive episode (MDE) than male adolescents (Kilpatrick, Ruggiero, et al., 2003).

(4)

Child Maltreatment in Depressed Adolescents:Differences in Symptomatology Based on History of Abuse Carla Kmett Danielson, Michael A. de Arellano, Dean G. Kilpatrick, Benjamin E. Saunders, Heidi S. Resnick Medical University of South Carolina

CHILD MALTREATMENT, Vol. 10, No. 1, February 2005 37-48 DOI: 10.1177/1077559504271630

Clinical reports suggest that 40% to 80% of adolescent sex offenders report such a history (Becker, Kaplan, Cunningham-Rathner, & Kavoussi, 1986; Ford & Linney, 1995; Hunter, Goodwin,&Becker, 1994; Katz, 1990). Likewise,Kobayashi, Sales, Becker, Figueredo, and Kaplan (1995) found that being sexually abused by males increased sexual aggression among male adolescent sexual offenders.

Indeed, there is evidence for a link between early exposure to pornography and sexual offending. Several researchers have found that men who commit sex crimes often report a history of early exposure to pornography.

Childhood Victimization and Lack of Empathy as Predictors of Sexual Offending Against Women and Children DOMINIQUE SIMONS

Colorado Department of Corrections SANDY K. WURTELE

University of Colorado, Colorado Springs PEGGY HEIL

Colorado Department of Corrections

JOURNAL OF INTERPERSONAL VIOLENCE, Vol. 17 No. 12, December 2002 1291-1307

Twenty-two percent of the females and 14% of the males who participated in the study reported histories of childhood sexual assault. This rate is similar to the results of a national random sample study that found that 27% of females and 16% of males had been sexually assaulted at some point in childhood (Finkelhor, Hotaling, Lewis, & Smith, 1990).

Finkelhor and Dziuba-Leatherman (1994) found that 45% of children who were victims of violence

(including assault by a peer) had also experienced an additional type of victimization.

This is consistent with the results of the current study, which note that participants who were sexually assaulted in childhood were more likely than those with no sexual assault histories to have been victims of bullying.

Based on her interviews with a randomly selected representative sample of 930 women in San Francisco, Russell (1982) argued that rape in marriage was a pervasive problem—14% of women who had ever been married had been raped by their husbands. In their work, Finklehor and Yllo (1985) provided more evidence of the prevalence of women’s horrific experiences of rape in marriage and the lack of societal response to the problem. What was

particularly striking to me as a young student of sociology was the argument made by Russell (1982) and Finkelhor and Yllo (1985) that forced sexual intercourse with one’s wife was legal in most states. As Russell (1990) wrote,

The laws relating to rape in most states of this nation, and in most countries of the world, include what is commonly referred to as

“the marital rape exemption.” These laws usually define rape as

the forcible penetration of the body of a woman, not the wife of the perpetrator,

(5)

and so according to them, rape in marriage is a legal impossibility.

(p. 17)

Although rape in marriage

is now criminalized under at least one of the sexual offense

codes in all 50 states, the majority of states have some exemption from rape prosecution still given to husbands; that is, rape by one’s intimate partner is still perceived as a different type of crime than rape by a stranger in the majority of states (Bergen, 1999).

Studying Wife Rape,Reflections on the Past, Present, and Future RAQUEL KENNEDY BERGEN

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, Vol. 10 No. 12, December 2004 1407-1416

“Many sexual assault programs see marital rape as a ‘family violence problem’ and many programs for battered women see it as a

‘sexual assault issue’” (Thompson-Haas, cited in Russell, 1990, p. xxv). In 1987, Lynn Thompson-Haas found that the majority of battered women’s programs and rape crisis centers did not ask women about their experiences of rape in marriage. Furthermore, less than one half of battered women’s programs trained

their staff and volunteers about this form of violence (Thompson- Haas, 1987). Studying Wife Rape,Reflections on the Past, Present, and Future RAQUEL KENNEDY BERGEN

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, Vol. 10 No. 12, December 2004 1407-1416

POGOSTOST TRAVM V DRUŽINI - AFERE

Yet it's happening more often in offices across the country. More than 8 million Americans are involved in office romances--and studies show that up to 80 percent of the population has dated co-workers, making the workplace the most likely place to find romance. Of course, if every office romance were as happily ever after as that of Diaz and O'Meara, there would be no issue.

Though human resource managers typically frown upon such relationships, many have no written policies on employee dating. However, 81 percent of HR professionals believe that workplace romances lead to conflict in the organization, according to a 2002 study conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management and CareerJournal.com.

But that's not the case. From an employer's point of view, workplace romances can be tricky to manage, and experts say companies should have formal policies in place regarding

employee dating. These policies may be a restriction on supervisor-subordinate relationships, requiring a consensual relationship contract or a complete prohibition on workplace dating.

However, Mathiason says there's an even better solution than contracts. He suggests appropriate management training for supervisors regarding the risks involved in office

romances. Indeed, he says it may help them better solve other sensitive issues that arise in the workplace.

As a result, romantic relationships in organizational settings have become quite common. Dillard and Miller (1988) reported that 71% of respondents in the combined samples of prior studies had observed at least one romantic relationship at work, and 31% of persons surveyed had themselves been involved in a romantic relationship with someone at work. Since romantic relationships in organizational settings are occurring at a high frequency, their potential impact on the

conduct of work is considerable.

(6)

POGOSTOST TRAVM V DRUŽINI – SMRT

Two million children and adolescents experience the death of a parent each year (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1990). Beyond parental death, however, no national sources document the scope of familial death. Furthermore, little is known about the prevalence of loss of other signi˘cant people in adolescents’

lives, such as close friends.

Roughly a decade ago, the de˘nition of

a traumatic event was expanded in the DSM-IV (APA, 1994) to include

learning about unexpected death or threat of death experienced by a family member. Since this change in criteria, greater attention has been given in the empirical literature to psychopathology in relation to the death of a loved one.

However, due to the limited

availability of national data, it remains unclear how prevalent deaths of family members and friends are among adolescents.

RAZLIKE MED SPOLOMA

RAZLIKE MED SPOLOMA – SPOLNOST

The perception and interpretation of sexual interest may be an important skill in avoiding sexual revictimization. Gender differences in perceptions of sexual interest have been well-documented. Men attribute more sexual interest to women’s friendly behavior than women (see Abbey, 1991, for review).

Abbey (1982) found that men rate both male and female actors as having greater sexual desire than do women rating the same actors. This finding has been replicated using several methodologies (Goodchilds, Zellman, Johnson,

& Giarrusso, 1988; Harnish, Abbey, & DeBono, 1990; Johnson, Stockdale,&

Saal, 1991; Shotland&Craig, 1988; Sigal, Gibbs, Adams,&Derfler,

1988). Using a list of specific target behaviors, Kowalski (1992, 1993) found a gender difference only in the interpretation of sexual interest conveyed by women’s mundane behaviors (e.g., the woman asking the man for a date, the woman accepting an invitation for a date). For behaviors higher in sexual connotation, men andwomen did not differ in their perceptions of awoman’s sexual interest. Thus, the gender difference in interpretation ofwomen’s sexual interest is partially a function of the degree of sexual connotation of the

behavior. Researchers have ascribed this gender difference to a generalized tendency for men to interpret the world in a more sexualized manner than

women (Abbey, 1982) or to a lower male threshold for labeling behaviors as connoting sexual interest (Shotland, 1989). These hypotheses are compatible with research that men report a greater number of externally generated fantasies, more frequent masturbation, and greater interest in casual sexual activity

than women (Hyde & Oliver, 2000). (The Role of Sexual Victimization

in Women’s Perceptions of Others’ Sexual Interest,PATRICIA L. N. DONAT,BARRIE BONDURANT JOURNAL OF INTERPERSONAL VIOLENCE, Vol. 18 No. 1, January 2003 50-64)

Women’s sexuality often is constructed as passive and receptive whereas men’s sexuality is constructed as active (Kurth, Spiller, & Travis, 2000).

Women’s greater surveillance of men’s sexual interest may be related to the common gate-keeping function imposed onwomen.Women often are socialized

(7)

to set the boundaries of heterosexual activity. To effectively serve this

function, women must be able to identify the precursors of sexual interest so that they may appropriately initiate efforts to disengage or divert activity.

According to Reid and Bing (2000), “It is the woman who should be perceptive enough to understand the course of current and future [sexual] behavior”

(p. 142). Despite the sexual double standard, even women’s behaviors that may have violated the norm of female sexual passivity were still perceived as lower in sexual connotation than men’s comparable behaviors. In addition, women’s perception of greater sexual interest for men’s behaviors may be an accurate reflection of the gender differences found in men’s and women’s sexuality and in cultural belief structures about the potency of men’s sexual desire. Moreover, women’s sensitivity to cues connoting sexual interest in men may be related to gender differences in power. Those in societywith less power are often more aware of the actions and beliefs of those in more powerful positions (Forte, 1998; New, 1998). (The Role of Sexual Victimization

in Women’s Perceptions of Others’ Sexual Interest,PATRICIA L. N. DONAT,BARRIE BONDURANT JOURNAL OF INTERPERSONAL VIOLENCE, Vol. 18 No. 1, January 2003 50-64)

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI

In a longitudinal study of children followed for 8 years into adolescence, the authors investigated how different forms of maltreatment (i.e., harsh parenting, sexual abuse, witnessing domestic violence) in childhood and parenting during adolescence influenced adolescents’ shame- and guilt-proneness

Results suggest that, as mediators, shame and guilt may provide useful focal points for intervention and prevention efforts in reducing adolescent depression and

delinquency.

Harsh parenting in childhood was positively related to criticizing, rejecting, and shaming behavior

by the parents toward the adolescents and negatively associated with warm receptive behavior by the parents.

This parental rejection during adolescence was, in turn, linked to a higher shame- prone emotional

style, whereas decreased warmth was linked to a lower guilt-prone style. Criticizing an adolescent’s physical appearance, or making him or her feel stupid in front of others, may lead to extremely high levels of shame in the moment.

The Relation of Child Maltreatment to Shame and Guilt Among Adolescents: Psychological Routes to Depression and Delinquency

Jeffrey Stuewig, George Mason University, Laura A. McCloskey, University of Pennsylvania

CHILDMALTREATMENT,Vol. 10, No. 4,November 2005 324-336

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – ZANEMARJANJE

As the term is currently used in developmental and abnormal psychology, child maltreatment refers to actions of caretakers that are deemed, by a combination of community and

(8)

professional standards, to be inappropriate and to endanger a child's health and development (National Research Council, 1993; Zuravin, 1991).

Polansky and associates (1981) found impulsivity to be the most predictive parental trait among those who neglect their children.

Parents who neglect their children do so because of a failure to perceive stimuli indicating the child’s need, a misinterpretation of the stimuli, an inability to respond, or failure to implement a selected response to the stimuli.

Neglect involves constant lack of care due to parents’ problems with alcohol; children are not fed properly or parents may take them to bars. Children may be left unattended, no closeness and tenderness exists between parents and children, or the other parent might move out without explanation. Children are neglected if no bounds are set for them, but are allowed to do whatever they want to, or are left without proper medical care although they are sick.

LaRose & Wolfe (1987) have suggested that there is a great deal of overlap in the attitudinal

and behavioral associations of authoritarian and maltreating parenting styles, signifying that maltreating parents may adopt a more severe type of the authoritarian style. Parents

who exhibit this style of parenting show a lack of insight into the child’s level of ability, interest,

or needs and thus impair the child’s selfesteem, intellectual motivation, and performance

through their distant, insensitive, and critical style (Wolfe, 1999).

Neglectful parenting has also been associated with negative child outcomes and child psychopathology

in that children from these environments showed more psychological and behavioral problems and exhibited a continued worsening in performance, especially with worsening academic standards and increased delinquency (Steinberg, Lamborn, Darling, Mounts,&Dornbusch, 1994).

Therefore, the relationship between authoritarian and neglectful parenting styles and child

psychopathology is useful in conceptualizing the developmental consequences of child maltreatment

(Wolfe, 1999).

THREE DECADES OF CHILD MALTREATMENT RESEARCH, Implications for the School Years

MARIJCKE W. M. VELTMAN, University of Cambridge, KEVIN D. BROWNE, University of Birmingham

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – ČUSTVENA, PSIHIČNA ZLORABA

Psychological maltreatment refers to unfair

treatment of the child, failure to encourage the child, humiliating and distancing the child, malevolence or

(9)

severity, lying and breaking promises, having been forced to serve the parent for fear of punishment, intimidation or bullying. Psychological maltreatment is involved when parents secretly destroy children’s personal belongings or fail to spend time with them due to lack of time or interest.

It is characteristic of psychological maltreatment that it is used to belittle and dishearten the child.

(1992)Herman stated that the main dialectic of emotional trauma is the conflict between the need to deny unbearable experiences and the need to give testimony.

(Title: Variables in Delayed Disclosure of Childhood Sexual Abuse , By: Eli Somer,

Sharona Szwarcberg, American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 0002-9432, July 1, 2001, Vol. 71, Issue 3)

In addition, the higher frequency of emotional maltreatment found in the current sample may be reflective of the overpro-tective, controlling, and restrictive mothers described by Olweus (1993) in his study of male bully victims. It is possible that what emotionally abused children have learned from their parents (for example, that they have little value, that they are powerless to stop being mistreated by powerful others, and that adults are not protectors) would lead to the development of a submissive, nonretaliatory, nonassertive interaction style, which in turn would make them more likely targets for bullies.

Previous research indicates that adults with abuse histories are more likely than those who were not

abused in childhood to experience a variety of psychosocial difficulties. There also has been research indicating that victims of multiple forms of childhood abuse experience even more symptoms of psychological distress than those experiencing only one form of abuse (Briere & Runtz, 1990; Brown & Anderson, 1991; Bryer, Nelson, Miller, & Krol, 1987; Duncan, Crouch, Saunders, & Kilpatrick, 1997).

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – IZGUBA NAJBLIŽJIH (smrt, ločitev)

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – NASILJE

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI. NASILJE

Rigby (1994) also found that whereas inadequate family communication was related to bullying others in males, it was related to bully victimization in females. In

addition, female bully victims rated their families as having lower affect. The above research indicates that like child abuse, bully victimization is quite prevalent and is related to difficulties in psychosocial functioning. Similar to findings of research

(10)

examining the long-term impact of child abuse, studies suggest that at least some of the

psychosocial difficulties related to bully victimization continue into adulthood.

OVER THE PAST DECADE, several studies have been done that have attempted to measure

the impact that witnessing domestic violence has on children (Fantuzzo & Lindquist, 1989;

McCloskey et al., 1995).

WHY THE LABEL CHILD ABUSE PUTS CHILDREN WHO WITNESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AT RISK DIANE TATUM

Eastside Domestic Violence Program

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – NASILJE – VRSTE NASILJA

In attempting to reconcile the

often disparate findings concerning gender patterns of partner violence, M. P.

Johnson (1995) posited that two rather distinct patterns of intimate partner violence may occur in this country. The first pattern, said to be common amongwomen contacting clinics and social services agencies (e.g., domestic violence shelters), is terroristic in nature and characterized by frequent and escalating physical abuse initiated by men against female partners in an effort to exert general control over them. The second pattern, more typical of community samples, is characterized by a less frequent and nonescalating form of

violence occurring on occasions when conflict “gets out of hand.” This latter pattern is thought to be initiated with approximately equal frequency by both men and women. The presence of both types of partner abuse may have been reflected in our sample, which was drawn from the community yet shared some similarities with clinical populations (e.g., elevated anger and at risk for child abuse).

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – SPOLNA ZLORABA IN POSILSTVO

This study investigated to what extent abuse-related symptoms and family functioning are related to intra- or extrafamilial sexual abuse. One hundred adolescents (12 to 18 years old) were recruited shortly after disclosure of the abuse. Information from the participants was obtained through self-report questionnaires and a semistructured interview. Fifty-three percent of the adolescents reported clinically significant

symptoms. Data did not support the idea that intrafamilial sexually abused adolescents report more symptoms than extrafamilial sexually abused adolescents. Type of

abuse did not account for the differences and variety of reported symptoms or for differences in family functioning. Family functioning—in particular, lack of cohesion—

was an independent contributor to internalizing trauma-related problems.

Several studies provide evidence that abuse by

a family member, contrarily to a stranger, leads to long-term negative consequences and high levels of distress (Faust, Runyon, &Kenny, 1995;Wyatt&

(11)

Newcomb, 1991). McLeer et al. (1988) found that 31 youngsters who were sexually abused by their fathers had a significantly higher frequency of PTSD symptoms than children abused by strangers, by older children, or by other adults. A possible explanation is that abuse by a relative often implies more frequent and longer-lasting abuse, which may result in more severe psychopathology (Beitchman et al., 1992;Bennett et al., 2000; DiLillo, Long,&

Russell, 1994). Yet, other studies point to the severe effect of an extrafamilial perpetrator (Grosz, Kempe, & Kelly, 1999; Lucenko, Gold, & Cott, 2000).

Feinauer (1989) found that victims abused by an extrafamilial perpetrator, compared to those abused by family members, reported higher levels of

Bal et al. / FAMILY FUNCTIONING & SEXUAL ABUSE 109

symptomatology. Browne and Finkelhor (1986), as well as Gregory-Bills and Rhodeback (1995), found that young women abused by an extrafamilial perpetrator reported more extreme fear than women abused by a family member.

Moreover, specific types of family dysfunction, marital conflict, and poor delineation of familial roles are frequently demonstrated in families of child sexual abuse victims (cf. Gale et al., 1988; Kreiger et al., 1980;

Parker and Parker, 1986). For example, a study conducted by Hanson et al. (1994) revealed that both abused and nonabused offenders reported higher levels of psychological and familial distress when compared to a normal control group. When examining incestuous families, results of controlled studies indicated significant levels of distress and discord in the marital

relationship (Hanson et al., 1994). Further, there was greater familial disorganization and less cohesiveness within abuse victims' families than in

the families of nonabused children (cf. Jackson et al., 1990; Long and Jackson, 1994). With respect to role delineation, girls from incestuous families

reported that they were forced to assume a maternal role within their families when as young as 8 years old (Herman and Hirschman, 1981).

These families tend to have many rules

governing the activities of family members. Family secrets, such as sexual abuse, are readily maintained via an introjected family myth, which maintains that familial preservation is contingent upon excluding the community

from the system (Groth, 1982; Madanes, 1981). Furthermore, there is empirical literature indicating that high conflict and isolative families contain

depressed mothers and that the impact of this phenomenon is circular (Williamson et al., 1991; Long and Jackson, 1994). Hence, family isolation further

maintains its distance from others, and in return most likely increases

the mother's level of depression. In incestuous families, mothers who experience alcoholism and depression were absent from the home more frequently

than mothers in nonabusive families (Herman and Hirschman, 1981).

In addition to child sexual abuse and maternal depression, Solomon and Patch (1969) described enuretic children as creating an abundance of work for their parents.

It is our belief that this causes mothers of abused

children to feel more inadequate, and in turn, more depressed than mothers of nonabused children. Such interactions may cause parents of abused children to be more rigid and controlling with the child than parents of nonabused children, which in turn is likely to increase enuretic behavior and conflict within the family. Hence, this becomes a self-perpetuated cycle of dysfunction. However, given the convergent factors of both sexual abuse and enuresis, it is suspected that children suffering from both would perceive their families as more conflictual and controlling than those nonabused children. As a result of increased family conflict and child

psychopathology, it is proposed that mothers in these families would report greater ineffectiveness and more depression than mothers of nonabused

(12)

children.

Specifically, CSA has been hypothesized to explain the higher base rate of depression in girls than boys in the teenage years (i.e., because CSA is more prevalent in girls than boys; Nolen-Hoeksema,

1994). The shift in the gender gap in the prevalence rates of depression appears around the time youths are age 11 to 13 years, with girls demonstrating increasingly greater rates of depression (Angold, Costello, & Worthman, 1998; Angold & Rutter, 1992; Cohen et al., 1993).

Child Maltreatment in Depressed Adolescents:Differences in Symptomatology Based on History of Abuse Carla Kmett Danielson, Michael A. de Arellano, Dean G. Kilpatrick, Benjamin E. Saunders, Heidi S. Resnick Medical University of South Carolina

Child advocacy groups have attempted to define emotional abuse in terms of a harm and endangerment standard (National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information, 1994) or by categories of psychological maltreatment, including spurning, exploiting/corrupting, terrorizing, denying emotional responsiveness, isolating, and unwarranted denial of mental health care, medical care, or education (American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children [APSAC], 1995).

The Federal Child Abuse and Prevention Treatment Act 42 (United States Code, 1996) provides the following definition, which relies on inference and perception:

“Psychological maltreatment

is a repeated pattern of caregiver behavior or extreme incidents that convey to children that they

are worthless, flawed, unwanted, endangered or only of value in meeting another’s needs.”

Emotional abuse is the core issue in child abuse, unifying the dynamics that underlie all forms of child abuse (Garbarino et al., 1986; Hart & Brassard, 1987; Hart, Bingelli,

& Brassard, 1998; Jellen, McCarroll, & Thayer, 2001).

Emotional abuse, compared to physical abuse, is also associated with higher hostility and aggression in both male and female young adults (Nicholas & Bieber, 1996).

Emotional Abuse in Children: Variations in Legal Definitions and Rates Across the United States

Stephanie Hamarman, New Jersey Medical School, Kayla H. Pope, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Sally J. Czaja, New Jersey Medical School

CHILDMALTREATMENT,Vol. 7, No. 4, November 2002 303-311

DOI: 10.1177/107755902237261

The findings of the National Women’s Study (National Victim Center and Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992) dispelled the

myth that most rapes are perpetrated by strangers. Only 22% of the rape victims were assaulted by someone they had never seen before or did not know

well. Koss et al. (1994) referred to violence at the hands of family members, partners, and other close acquaintances as “intimate” violence. Women raped by intimates and women raped by strangers report comparable levels of post-rape psychological symptomatology, but women raped by intimates are less likely to seek professional help, to tell others about the assault, or to report the assault to authorities (Allison & Wrightsman, 1993; Frazier &

Seales, 1997). (Women’s Responses to Sexual Violence by Male Intimates

Claire Burke Draucker Phyllis Noerager Stern Western Journal of Nursing Research, 2000, 22(4), 385-406)

(13)

Sexual assault by spouses and long-term male partners often occurs in the context of physical abuse. Experts estimate that between 10% and 15% of all women have been raped by a spouse and between 40% and 45% of battered women are forced into sex by their male partners (Campbell&Alford, 1989;

Finkelhor &Yllö, 1985; Hanneke, Shields, &McCall, 1986; Russell, 1990).

The presence of sexual violence in battering relationships is associated with more severe physical abuse and greater physical health repercussions for

women (Eby, Campbell, Sullivan, & Davidson, 1995). (Women’s Responses to Sexual Violence by Male Intimates Claire Burke Draucker Phyllis Noerager Stern Western Journal of Nursing Research, 2000, 22(4), 385-406)

In this study, theory development was enhanced by dividing the women according to the types of violence they had experienced. Other classification schemas have been proposed. Shotland (1992), for example, identified five types of courtship rape: beginning rape (rape at the beginning of the relationship—

the first few dates), early date rape (rape early in the relationship when relationship rules are being established), relational date rape (rape later in the relationship when the couple believe they know what to expect from each other), rape within sexually active couples with battering, and rape within sexually active couples without battering. Such typologies require empirical testing but may facilitate an understanding of how various factors, such as the nature of the intimacy between the perpetrator and the

woman, influence how women respond to the violence in their lives. (Women’s Responses to Sexual Violence by Male Intimates Claire Burke Draucker Phyllis Noerager Stern Western Journal of Nursing Research, 2000, 22(4), 385-406)

ZNAČILNOSTI IN VRSTE TRAVM V DRUŽINI – AFERE IN ZVESTOBA

ELIZABETHS.ALLEN DONALDH.BAUCOM

(EDI) outside a marital or primary dating relationship, such as intercourse with a person other than the spouse or primary dating partner, often precipitates relationship distress and dissolution (Betzig, 1989;

Gordon & Baucom, 1999; Whisman, Dixon, & Johnson, 1997).

In some cases, EDI may be a way to meet autonomy needs, whereas in other cases, EDI may be a way to meet intimacy needs (Brown, 1991;

Moultrup, 1990; Scarf, 1987). Specifically, evidence that EDI may meet autonomy needs is based on clinical reports from involved persons that their EDI was a way to obtain private space or assert a sense of freedom or independence from the constraints of a primary relationship (Brown;

Elbaum, 1981; Pittman, 1989; Welter-Enderlin, 1993);

Consistent with intimacy needs, some individuals describe close emotional involvement with the extradyadic partner. In both autonomy and intimacy motivations for EDI, individuals often frame this as a response to the marital system.

That is, intimacy needs are frequently depicted as compensatory for emotional neglect within the primary relationship (Elbaum; Scarf), and autonomy needs are frequently tied to experiencing primary relationships as overly constraining (Pittman).

Anxious women in particular may be more likely to engage in EDI and report more extradyadic partners (Bogaert & Sadava, 2002; Gangestad & Thornhill, 1997; Stephan &

Bachman, 1999), which has generally been interpreted as consistent with the high need for

(14)

intimate contact with others and strong sexual attraction seen in anxious individuals (Hazan &

Shaver, 1987).

Hazan, Zeifman, and Middleton (1994) found that avoidant individuals (relative to secure individuals) reported more engagement in what was conceptualized as sexual behavior reflecting low intimacy, including one-night stands and EDI.

In contrast to the intense orientation to romantic relationships characterizing those high in anxiety, higher levels of avoidance or the avoidant styles relate to lower commitment to primary relationships, an avoidance of deep involvement with others, a willingness to engage in sex without emotional investment, and an emphasis on the fun or sexual aspects of relationships rather than emotional intimacy (Brennan & Shaver, 1995; Feeney, 1990; Feeney

& Noller, 1991; Feeney, Noller, & Patty, 1993; Levy & Davis, 1988).

Adult Attachment and Patterns of Extradyadic Involvement

Patterns of Infidelity and Their Treatment Eugene Goldin, Book Review Editor

Brown’s model categorizes affairs according to their attendant messages. These include: (a) Conflict Avoidance (e.g., “I’ll make you pay more attention to me”); (b) Intimacy Avoidance (e.g., “I don’t want to need you so much”); (c) Sexual Addiction (e.g., “Fill Me up”); (d) Split Self (e.g., “I love my family, but I’m in love with my affair partner”); and (e) Exit Affair (e.g., “Help me out the door”).

Brown contends that all affairs include intimacy issues (E. M. Brown, personal communication, September 14, 2002). Also tackled are such ubiquitous issues as confidentiality, violence, the duty to warn, and disclosure of the hidden affair (i.e., the how, when, and why).

Brown’s treatment schedule deals with the couple in several steps. She continually

emphasizes the importance of the need to cut through the betrayed spouse’s obsessing about the details of the affair after it has been disclosed. She points out that the obsessing acts as a distraction not only for the anger felt toward the straying partner, but more importantly for the underlying pain. As long as there is an over involvement in discussing the details of the affair, there is little time, or readiness to explore the marital issues that contributed to the affair. The next step is to develop a shared definition of the marital issues (i.e., what each partner’s responsibility was which lead to the difficulties in the marriage). This should lead to a therapeutic contract where there is a mutual acceptance that each partner played a part in the relationship’s development. There is then a need to be perfectly clear that the affair has ended, otherwise marital therapy cannot really continue for more than a few sessions. However, individual or brief coupletherapy can be utilized here to make a determination as to where the couple may want to go in the relationship. As marital therapy

continues, there may be an indication to explore other secrets and perhaps other affairs

Brown advocates therapists examining their own personal issues in the context of providing therapy to couples. She believes that those therapists who engage in couple therapy and who do not see a high proportion of infidelity with these clients, may be denying the existence of same, She suggests that clients may not be disclosing their affairs because they experience a discomfort in their therapist, an idea that an experienced and competent therapist may find both thought provoking and perhaps even

(15)

disturbing.

Emotional reactions to infidelity

Todd K. Shackelford, Gregory J. LeBlanc, and Elizabeth Drass

From an evolutionary perspective (Buss, Larsen, Westen, & Semmelroth, 1992; Buss

& Shackelford, 1997), infidelity signals the diversion of important reproductive resources.

From an equity perspective (Walster, Walster, & Perscheid, 1978), infidelity signals inequities in a relationship. From an investment model perspective (Rusbult, 1980), infidelity signals lack of commitment to a relationship. In short, infidelity acquires importance in any theory of romantic relationships. Sexual infidelity refers to sexual activity with someone other than one’s long-term partner. Emotional infidelity occurs when one’s partner channels resources such as romantic love, time, and attention to someone else.

(16)

RAZLOGI ZA:

(17)

So why are so many people having affairs despite such powerful social and religious doctrines against them? The fact is that there have been as many reasons given for affairs as there are people engaging in them. Some of these include dissatisfaction with the marital relationship, emotional emptiness, need for sexual variety, inability to resist new sexual opportunity, anger at a partner, no longer being "in love", alcohol or drug addiction, growing apart, desire to get a partner jealous... to name just a few. Some people have even said that human beings simply can't maintain monogamous sexual relationships over long periods of time because it "isn't natural".

Extramarital Affairs: What is the Allure?

(18)

RAZLIKE V SPOLU:

(19)

Although the gender gap seems to be closing with regard to in˘delity participation,

there are a number of gender diˇerences in sexual expectations

that appear to be conceptually related to men’s and women’s more general expectations for an exclusive or nonexclusive relationship. For example, studies have shown that men and women have diˇerent beliefs, standards, and

desires regarding sexual behaviors and relationships (e.g., Cohen&Shotland, 1996; Regan & Berscheid, 1995). Glass andWright (1992) noted that ‘‘even within the same extramarital relationship, the woman focuses primarily on the emotional aspects while theman she is involved with is focused primarily on the sexual aspects’’ (p. 379). Men have di⁄culty distinguishing between cross-sex relationships that are intended to be friendships and ones that are

Relationship Exclusivity 289

intended to be sexual, and they tend to be more sex oriented than women in relationships, having sex as a goal for the relationship (Pestrak et al., 1985).

EXPLORING INFIDELITY: DEVELOPINGTHE RELATIONSHIP ISSUES SCALE

BROCK A. BOEKHOUT, SUSAN S. HENDRICK and CLYDE HENDRICK

(20)

(21)

Marital Infidelity By Robin Truhe

KAKŠNE SO OSEBNOSTI, KI IMAJO AFEREPersons who have become engaged in extramarital or extra relational involvement tend to have a lower self-esteem⁽²⁴⁾ and higher

(22)

levels of depression⁽²⁵⁾ than those who did not have such involvement. This is further complicated by the fact that jealousy can affect the self-esteem felt by the partners who did not have the affair; although research suggests this group tends to have higher self-esteem.

Particularly, one study stated that, "men's jealousy was primarily associated with sexual involvement between their partner and a third person and with comparison to a rival male.

Females, on the other hand, tended to associate their jealous reactions with a more generalized loss of their partner, such as the partner spending time with or talking to a competitor. For these reasons, an extramarital involvement has the capacity to deflate the self-esteem of those affected⁽²⁶⁾."

Affairs

Henry A. Virkler, RAZLOGI ZA AFERE

First, some people develop unhealthy personality styles (personality disorders) that make them more highly vulnerable to affairs. Among these personality styles that often predispose a person to unfaithfulness are the narcissistic, histrionic, borderline, and antisocial personality disorders.

Second, sexual addictions often lead to infidelity. In a sexual addiction a person begins to use sexual encounters similarly to the way a person with a developing alcohol addiction uses alcohol, i.e., to deal with more and more of the stresses of everyday life (Carnes, 1983, 1989).

Thus the person with a sexual addiction begins to search for a sexual experience when bored, when lonely, when anxious, when frustrated, or when depressed. (Using the distinction made in the first paragraph of this article, it might be more accurate to say that those with sexual addictions are likely to have series of adulterous encounters rather than affairs, since they generally have many partners rather than developing an emotional and sexual relationship with one individual.)

Third, as people go through life they face a number of developmental situations. When they do not resolve these successfully, the lack of resolution may lead to an emotional state

(anxiety, anger, dissatisfaction, loneliness, etc.) that makes them more vulnerable to the temptation of an affair. Examples of such developmental situations include making the transition from romantic love to commitment love during the early months of marriage;

learning to negotiate differences in ways that result in both marital partners feeling counted;

pregnancy, birth of the first child, and mothering; extraordinary stress at work for either partner; being away from home too much; rejection or failure; success, and male midlife crises.

Fourth, people also become involved in affairs because they are exposed to temptation- filled situations for which they are inadequately prepared or where they do not set wise boundaries. Affairs that fall into this category have been given names such as "the friendship affair," "the office affair," and "the people-helper affair." The majority of affairs start as friendships--often well-meaning and innocent friendships--and move toward an emotional and sexual attachment so gradually (and sometimes unconsciously) that the persons involved may not be aware that the relationship is changing until significant transformation has occurred.

Fifth, some people become involved in affairs because of unconscious, unrealistic, or uncommunicated expectations they hold. Everyone enters marriage with many expectations, some verbalized, others unverbalized, and some of which they may not even be consciously aware. When people have unconscious or unverbalized expectations, their partners sometimes may not meet them, and they become dissatisfied with the marriage. At other times people

(23)

enter marriage with unrealistic expectations (e.g., that honeymoon fever will last forever, or that if my partner really loves me, he or she will know what I want without me having to ask).

When those expectations are not met, a person may feel dissatisfied with the marriage, believing that something fundamental is missing from the relationship, and be tempted to start looking elsewhere.

It is not true that when someone has an affair, it always indicates some defect in the faithful partner or the marriage. Sometimes the primary cause of the affair is the personality style the unfaithful partner brought into the marriage, sometimes a sexual addiction, sometimes a temptation-filled situation for which the unfaithful partner was unprepared or did not handle wisely, and sometimes because of unrealistic or unverbalized expectations of the unfaithful partner.

Sixth, there are a number of situations where the faithful partner can produce a situation that makes the person who eventually becomes unfaithful more vulnerable. One of these is when the faithful partner fails to meet realistic, communicated requests of the spouse.

Scripture clearly teaches that we are to be loving and gentle with each other, and that marital partners should meet each other's companionship and sexual needs. While failure to do so does not justify adultery, it does increase the partners' vulnerability when someone else shows the warmth, respect, or compassion that they had been requesting from their spouse.

Seventh, each person has ego needs. Harley's research (1986) suggests that the top five ego needs of men and women are usually different. Women's top five needs, according to Harley, are for affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and commitment to family. Men's top five needs are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support (managing the home well), and admiration. Men and women generally try to show love to their spouse in the way they want to be loved, without realizing their spouse has different priorities of ego needs. As a result men and women sometimes do not meet their spouse's ego needs weel, causing an emotional void that leaves their spouse more vulnerable to temptation.

Eighth, almost any psychopathology in the faithful partner, if extreme enough, can lead to so much frustration that the faithful partner becomes more vulnerable. Examples include paranoid personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (extreme

perfectionism that keeps normal human needs from being met), substance abuse, physical or emotional abuse, or chronic passive-aggressiveness. For reasons not totally clear,

codependency also seems to encourage infidelity in the partner, but probably for different reasons than the above.

Infidelity Interview

Recently Pastor Scott Owens Of Fully Alive Community Church interviewed our Program Director, Harold Botts, as part of a Sunday Morning Service dealing with the Old Testament Book of Hosea. The interview included some of the following information about Sexual Infidelity in Marriage.

Sexual Infidelity in Marriage

RAZLOGI ZA AFERE PRI SPOLU:

Men

 They want more sex

 They enjoy the “game” - flirting, challenge, conquest

 Their wife isn’t available, another woman is

 Makes them feel younger

(24)

Women

^To boost their self esteem - attention, compliments, etc  To feel emotionally connected

 To deal with their loneliness  Fear of aging

INFIDELITY

Shirley Glass, Ph.D. Volume 2 Issue 1

January 2000 The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Infidelity C L I N I CA L U P D AT E

RAZISKAVE:

Survey data on incidence

of EMS varies based on methodology and sample characteristics. A 1994 General Social Survey reported that 15 percent of women and 25 percent of men had

experienced EMS (Laumann et al, 1994). These findings are more conservative than studies in which approximately 25 percent of women and 50 percent of men

experienced EMS (Glass & Wright, 1977, 1985; Hunt, 1974; Kinsey, Pomeroy, &

Martin, 1953). Furthermore, an additional 20 percent acknowledge extramarital emotional affairs and sexual intimacies without intercourse. Although the incidence has been consistently higher for men, a current trend for more

involvement by women is attributed to increased premarital sexual experience and increased opportunities for working women.

SIMPTOMI (PREVARANIH) PO AFERI:

AFTER AN AFFAIR FOR TREATED COUPLES 2 The symptoms of many betrayed spouses are

strikingly similar to the post-traumatic stress reactions of the victims of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

Obsessive rumination, hypervigi-

lance, hyperarousal, flashbacks and intrusive images are common reactions to the shattered assumptions and loss of innocence.

Obsessive rumination, hypervigilance, hyperarousal, flashbacks and intrusive images are common reactions to the shattered assumptions and loss of innocence.

Depression and anxiety inventories are indispensable; both spouses

frequently manifest scores in the severe or extreme ranges due to the emotional intensity of profound grief reactions or anxiety attacks regarding potential losses caused by the crisis of disclosure. Beach, Jouriles, & O’Leary (1985) found that couples presenting with extramarital sex had higher depression rates than other couples seeking marital therapy. Suicidal ideation is common.

Homicidal fantasies of revenge by the betrayed spouse, particularly directed toward the lover, may need to be monitored. Violence and escalating fights may be potentiated by this crisis, so the issue of safety must be confronted.

Extramarital emotional involvement: differs from close friendships and consists of emotional intimacy threatening to the marriage, secrecy about the extent of the relationship, and

sexual chemistry. When sexual attraction is acknowledged or sexual fantasies are

(25)

shared, the sexual tension increases. Internet affairs exemplify all three of these criteria. safety in the marriage have been damaged. A secret emotional affair in an open marriage can evoke a catastrophic reaction if it is outside

the range of expectations for non-secretive sexual involvement only. Handing out the DSM-IV criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder (309.81) and assessing the specific symptoms in the betrayed spouse during a conjoint session normalizes the erratic and disturbing behaviors and reassures both spouses that recovery is possible. Although the actual symptoms meet the criteria for PTSD, an adjustment disorder may be more acceptable for exacting situations such as insurance diagnoses because the prevailing DSM-IV criteria at the present time stipulates that the stressor must be life-threatening.

Infidelities—sexual, emotional, or both—afflict many long-term

romanticrelationships. When a person discovers a partner’s betrayal, a major decision facedis to forgive the partner and remain together or to terminate the relationship.Because men and women have confronted different adaptive problems over evolutionaryhistory associated with different forms of infidelity, we hypothesised theexistence of sex differences in which aspects of infidelity would affect the likelihoodof forgiveness or breakup. We tested this hypothesis using forced-choicedilemmas in which participants (N = 256) indicated how difficult it would be to forgive the partner and how likely they would be to break up with the partner, depending on the nature of the infidelity. Results support the hypothesis that men, relative to women: (a) find it more difficult to forgive a sexual infidelity than an emotional infidelity; and (b) are more likely to terminate a current relationship following a partner’s sexual infidelity than an emotional infidelity. The Discussion

provides directions for future work on the determinants of breakup and the psychology of forgiveness.

In a study of 160 cultures, infidelity was the most frequently cited reason for divorce (Betzig, 1989). Breaking up appears to be one common solution to the problem of a partner’s infidelity.

Given the importance of the critical juncture, there has been surprisingly little empirical work devoted to exploring the conditions under which infidelity leads to forgiveness or breakup, although there has been related work on the strategies used to cope with jealousy and suspicions of infidelity. White and Mullen (1989), for example, identified eight strategies people use to cope with jealousy: improving the primary relationship, interfering with the rival relationship, demanding commitment, derogating the partner or the rival, developing alternatives, denial, self-assessment, and seeking social support.

Men and women will differ in forgiveness for a partner’s infidelity, and in the likelihood that 300 SHACKELFORD, BUSS, BENNETT they will terminate a relationship because of a partner’s infidelity, depending on the type of infidelity. Specifically, men more than women will find it more difficult to forgive, and will be more likely to break up with, a partner who commits a sexual infidelity. Women more than men will find it more difficult to forgive, and will be more likely to break up with, a partner who commits an emotional infidelity.

Evolutionary psychologists hypothesised two decades ago that men and women would differ psychologically in the weighting given to cues that trigger jealousy (Daly et al., 1982;

Symons, 1979). A man’s jealousy has been hypothesised to focus on cues to sexual infidelity because a long-term partner’s sexual infidelity jeopardises his certainty in paternity, thereby placing him at risk of investing in another man’s offspring. A woman’s jealousy has been hypothesised to focus on cues to the long-term diversion of a man’s commitment, such as his

(26)

emotional involvement with another woman. The predicted sex differences in the nature of jealousy have been found repeatedly by different investigators— psychologically,

physiologically, and to a limited degree cross-culturally (Buss et al., 1992; Buss et al., 1999;

Buunk, Angleitner, Oubaid, & Buss, 1996; DeSteno & Salovey, 1996; Geary, Rumsey, Bow- Thomas, & Hoard, 1995; Wiederman & Allgeier, 1993; Wiederman & Kendall, 1999). The current research was designed to build on this earlier work by exploring decision-rules surrounding forgiveness and breakup following an infidelity.

Which would upset or distress you more?

(A) Imagining your partner enjoying passionate sexual intercourse with that other person.

(B) Imagining your partner forming a deep emotional attachment to that other person.

Which would upset or distress you more?

(A) Imagining your partner trying different sexual positions with that other person.

(B) Imagining your partner falling in love with that other person.

Which action would be more difficult for you to forgive?

(A) Your partner has passionate sexual intercourse with that other person.

(B) Your partner becomes deeply emotionally attached to that other person.

For which action would you be more likely to break up with your partner?

(A) Your partner has passionate sexual intercourse with that other person.

(B) Your partner becomes deeply emotionally attached to that other person.

Which aspect of your partner’s involvement would be more difficult for you to forgive?

(A) Your partner’s sexual intercourse with that other person.

(B) Your partner’s emotional attachment to that other person.

Which aspect of your partner’s involvement would be more likely to lead you to break up with your partner?

(A) Your partner’s sexual intercourse with that other person.

(B) Your partner’s emotional attachment to that other person. REZULTATI:

Men, relative to women: (a) find it more difficult to forgive a partner’s sexual

infidelity than a partner’s emotional infidelity; and (b) are more likely to break up in response to a partner’s sexual infidelity than in response to a partner’s emotional infidelity. Conversely, women, relative to men, find it more difficult to forgive and are more likely to break up with a partner who is emotionally unfaithful. These sex differences remain even after controlling for effects attributable to ethnicity and to age.

Modern men have psychological mechanisms that are exquisitely sensitive to a partner’s sexual infidelity

(Buss et al., 1992; Daly & Wilson, 1988). Women also are sensitive to a partner’s sexual infidelity, but accumulating evidence suggests that women become more upset in response to a partner’s emotional infidelity, which signals the long-term diversion of a partner’s

commitment and investment (Buss et al., 1992; Buunk et al., 1996; DeSteno & Salovey, 1996;

Geary et al., 1995; Wiederman & Allgeier, 1993; Wiederman & Kendall, 1999).